For a while now I am working with a very special book , called "THE ARTIST'S WAY", by Julia Cameron.
It came to me through a friend that had already done this 12 weeks programm.
I must say , I did not really consider myself as an ARTIST.., but I AM a creator, right and to some extent I could sense a deeper meaning to it. Right now I am finishing "week 10" , although nothing new really came up, like I did a great painting.
Nevertheless, even in subtil bases, big shifts occur., changes seem to happen faster, I seem even more aware of patterns, and myself.
Magic happens ONLY through me opening up, going from old to new : Self love- self worth, my communication and connection with others becomes clearer.
I am sitting here in my sleeping room in Hamburg, where i just experienced my first houesit: took care of a cat, NANOU.....
In reality , it was about going "more " NEW..new ways of how things should happen , new ways of how answers, help, creations , wonders, should come to me.
Indeed, again i just can but BOW in front of my human...she ( nearly wrote IT...) is so bold , courageous almost at a point of where she just can't do anything but dropping of the swords....sounds like i am talking of ADAM, dropping his sword..
What a blessing all this adventure , this experience here is .I had such a resistence..no , my aspects gave me some headaches at a point i wanted to cancel, one day before leaving.....Truly!!
!And THANK ME, that i am aware of my Self in such a way, that i could see behind it all. I allowed myself to feel the resistence and went for it anyway...
The last few weeks I observed and followed this BENCHING thing on FB
Although during my walks through nature I do rest on a bench.. but not in the mindset this phenomen really ( was about.
..until this morning..:
I had decided that today was a perfect CHRISTIANE GIFTING DAY. !!meaning , have a nice lunch with myself , then relax the afternoon in a spa...!!
Packed my bag for the Spa ..And..there IT was again..could feel already the OLD WELL KNOWN DARK ONE ..popping up each time I just wanna do something nice and fun for me..just like this..no special reason....
Hi dear, do you really mean that its appropiate spending , rather spoiling money for stupid pleasures ...in YOUR SITUATION..hein..( I do not work for the moment)
Meanwhile my Master already relaxed in a nice sun chair, bikini , and a fresh juicy cocktail in her hand..I knew she was there, would stay beside me....(think she just want to see how my human is getting along.
I Am the only one that takes decision on how I want spend my money
.no chance for any Aspect in whatever form it shows up.
Till now it was rather a bbig muggle pool
Now, in 2017 It is enough.. so finally I found myself in my car , SITTING there, my todays bench just allowing , with every breath in , breath out, let it all flow through. JUST ALLOWING!! TODAY I did it MY NEW WAY..MORE to come soon!!
I discovered recently something very intresting..How to put new programms in my mind and by doing so ..connecting new emotions and new experiences to my life
A friend told me about Joe Dispenza (author and coach) or Alexander Hartmann, both have intrsting theories on HOW WE CAN CHANGE OUR WAYS OF CREATING; BY CHANGING OUR WAYS OF THINKING.
Perhaps you do experience in some way what I mean..:Sometimes when I'm with others I ( "or whoever speaks in that moment..not Me", says my Master with slight disgust in her voice) open my mouth and WORDS come out of it..and ..it 's like a part of me turns round to see if someone else behind me let out this crab!
Not so long ago, I would have argued myself and judged hard for this.
What I find intresting in the above mentioned ideas, is that it ALL starts with MY CONSCIOUS ; CLEAR DECISION to be willing to change ..and that it starts by beeing present in the NOW...make clear what I allow coming , how I wanna live and feel in this new..and by allowing this NEW DATA base , produce new synapses in my mind , feelings and therefore new results..I CREATE MYSELF THIS NEW LIFE,
WHO else would be able to do so..as I created it ALL myself till now..consciously or not.
It all makes sense to me...and it is just one way of possiblities to create..
(it's 5 o clock am, I know) but just in case you are having the illusion that any group , or people mindliked, would make your "light" shine brighter..forget about it. ( she actually shows up as a wise chinese old man..shaking his head...NONONO)
You will have to show up in your own masters light.
Let go the old energy feeding patterns you were used to in the past...when you tried to get energy from outside (People or whatever..) to shine brighter", be special "
You are already unique and special.
And there she goes in front of me from right to left side...in her chinese costume..trying hard to be serious.
Just be yourself .Your IAMNESS is enough, You do try hard so often to copy others, to be ok and the only one that doesn't accept yourself is YOU.
Kennst du das, diese Momente wo du genau weist dass der andre Recht hat und du es aber grade nicht hören willst?!!Eigentlich bin ich mir selbst meiner Ausreden müde..--BLABLABLA.
Meister sein bedeutet nicht Perfekt sein ...es bedeutet einfach mir selbst verbindlich sein auf meinem Weg, mir zu vertrauen mein Sein erlauben und einfach Spass haben...es heisst auch mein Leben so zu gestalten , bewusst wie ich es haben will.. UND KLARE ENTSCHEIDUNGEN TREFFEN!!
Meister sein heisst keineswegs über dem Boden schwebend immer in tiefer Meditation sitzend und nichts mehr brauchen , ..meine Meisterin nennt das LIVING DEAD!
Sie ist da um mich daran zu erinnern hier auf diesem Planeten LEBEN - SEIN zu Erfahren, meine Komfortzone verlassen weil da das wahre spannende Abenteuer Leben beginnt.
Ich werde am 3Dezember zu einem Treffen in Düsseldorf fahren: ein kurzer Moment lang kam so ein Gedanke OOH, ob ich darein passe.. die sind doch Alle bestimmt total klar und bewusst..und frei von Freveln , sprich Spielchen , Aengste ..etc ( Meister C prustet los vor lachen)..nur kurz, dann war diese Illusion auch geknackt.
Es gibt Tage wo ich merke was das Spiel dahinter ist zbsp bei nem Job etc.
Statt mich zu freuen dass ich es merke, ..geht ne ganze Kavallerie an Aspekten los, wohl bedacht mich wieder auf Spur zu kriegen ...UND ich bin Meister im Eiersalat machen:)) Jetzt kann ich wieder über mich lachen, und geniesse es mich um mich zu kümmern( Blog schreiben und gestalten ), Dinge tun mit MIR die mir SPASS machen , mich gutfühlen lassen...und davon immer mehr.!!!
Die Gradwanderung von Meister zum Kleinen menschlichen Teil ist so dünn wie der Vorhang zu Halloween zwischen den Welten.
MIR vertrauen , immer wieder mich an MEINE WAHL erinnern vor langer Zeit..und das jeden Tag aufs neue, mir mitfühlend begegnen, meinen Weg anerkennen..und ..SPASS am ERFAHREN haben(darauf wartet meine Meisterin nur..)
Es gilt wirklich mich zu entspannen: I ALREADY MADE IT..IT IS DONE..now RELAX and DAMN ENJOY THE RIDE !!
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