On Authenticity

My dictionary tells me that "being authentic means: being :real genuine original true , genuineness.

 

These last months , weeks and days I am observing myself very closely. Am I authentic. ?

No...

 

(how dare I write a blog here, How dares she say all she writes here) 

 

No , I am raw and not shamed to share this , my intimacy in an open way.

Like many out there, All my life I wanted to be LOVED, Accepted.

To get there I hide my truth, I covered myself, hold for true what someone outside showed me. I was very good at those energy games, highly sensitive I sneaked out fast "how people I encounter function, AND how I had to act to be accepted.  And ALL PART OF A GAME😜

 

Authentic means to go inside, put spotlight on everything: beloved, hated , scared....And not hide it.Go outside NAKED without masks to please. 

 

Fake authentic is compromising myself, restrict the frame in such way, and lie to myself.

 

I myself do not know many that are really AUTHENTIC..it also means being clear on what I want, what I accept /not..and share it. Clarity is often , quickly mistaken as being rude, not compassionate .

 

Not at all:  authentic and clear is just clear..no bullshit., not fearing ones light and dark.

 

Its aspects , parts of me I created to play here on this playground, I send out, when meeting others. 

Situations where I did not take a breath and FEEL  if its ok for me or not..not caring of others opinion, or reactions.

 

It still happens...But I discovered that most of time, it was my mind that , relying on past experiences, showed me a possible outcome.

Not going for THAT mind based story, I discovered IT NEVER HAPPENED. Even was a revelation for everyone.

 

Now as I come so close to MYSELF, more and more, deeper..It hurts physically, if I try so.

 

..Did I mention: Just a story Game: I enjoyed till now. 

 

 

I realized authenticity opens a free field for one to open up to oneself.

 

Sweet sugar topping it was, now it is getting boring.cause no-one around me wants to play with me.

 

I experience Now the freshness and Joy of New  , in relation with others.

 

Authentic, clear definitely clears the air around and inside. 🧚🏽‍♀️